I'm really wondering if I should let this blog be known. I shouldn't have let people know that I'm opening a new blog. Should've just close that blog and shut up. Now I have to go through the turmoil of contemplating to give or not to give.

School's been a chore. I no longer look forward to it at all. AT ALL. Everyday's back to the looking forward to holidays and the weekends. Assignments have already started coming and deadlines are here and there. Even though I want to do well, want to excel, I'm not getting the motivation to work any inch of my brain. My GPA dropped to 3.03 last semester, I cannot afford any slacking if I want to do well. Cailin and Asher are such smart, hardworking people. Tsk. Janine, what are you doing? What are you waiting for?

You are in my every thought.

Just found out not long ago about Jonny and Sarah. They look so sweet together. Blogsurfing showed me that Sarah is going through internal conflicts too. the head and the heart. Knowing yet feeling otherwise.

I'm at an ultimate low. Have to confess, my quiet times with God has been pushed aside by stupid excuses time and time again recently. Lukewarm. This is bad. I know, yet I still carry on. Discipline. I lack.

Best friends, still my best friends. Yet I find it hard to share with them nowadays. Whenever we meet up, there is so much to catch up on, that heart-to-hearts are things of the past.

Oh, I miss you so. Why does it have to be you? I haven't felt this way to anyone so strongly for a year now. The complications of being involved with someone romantically, even if it is only indirectly. I wonder so much, wish for so much, want so much. You. You could've been just another guy. Why didn't you keep it at that. Why did you have to move me.

I want you to want me
I need you to need me

Lord, forgive me.
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