Meet ups.

Zoe! I knew you were shooing us away. I just didn't wanna say anything. :) I'm so smart!

My brownies are so yummy. I wanna eat them and eat them and eat them more. =x

White shorts + Rain = Disaster.

My brain is so pain.

I'm meeting Grace tomorrow. The rest all don't want me already. :( Got their banquet friends enough. So sad. Right Grace? :(

Posts like this bore you don't they?

I'm bored too.
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Have you ever had a really good catch come your way but due to certain reasons you had to let it go? Doesn't it just comes back and eat at you again and again? It's called counterfactual thinking, known more commonly as the 'if only's.

Gary Chua viewed me on Friendster. His Dawne posted a picture of them, Gary in his uniform looking all smart and cute. And I'm just sure that even if I'd said yes a year and a few months ago, things wouldn't have been the way it is with them. (but he's still one of the very few guys I'll always think fondly of, though I often claim otherwise)

And then there's this other guy. He blew my mind when he wasn't supposed to. It was the most inapt time for me to be blown away but he really was a great guy. Sensitive, caring and everything, but at that time, all that I look back and miss now, those were the things that irritated me because it wasn't appropriate and created trouble for me. I was his number one. And it was nice knowing that because he was the only guy who I knew sincerely meant it when he said I was the only one. Of course, I was skeptical and told him so. A few months later he came back as a good friend and still was sincere with me, but of course, I was right. He still is one of the rare guys though.

There is one other guy part of this list, who was a good friend and the only guy who liked me aloud. I liked his company and like talking with him. And am very glad of the change he's been through.


What is this post about? It's about the choices made. It's about how we always know things will be different if we made different choices in life but the mere fact that in reality we would never have made a different choice because of timing and many more factors associated with timing. Like wisdom for example. I know so much more things now than I did a few years back, and if I had this wisdom on hand then, I would never have made those decisions. But then again, without those experiences from wrong decisions made, I may still be that naive girl I was.

It is also about the weaknesses of the human flesh that battles the spirit now and then, actually more often then you know it. Knowing that someone is worth the wait and actually waiting for it is a totally different matter. So easy it is to want to make our own decisions, use our own eyes and set of requirements as a gauge. But to know that we are doing it and stopping is what makes the difference.

I miss them. But He knows better.
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Who would you call when you're going through a tough time?

Are these people your best friends then? Is this how best friends are measured by?

If that is so, I guess I wouldn't have any best friends. Why? Cos after pondering a long time, I decided wouldn't actually call anybody. Not unless it is some life or death emergency. It has never been my kind of thing to do. Talk over the phone to pour out my woes. Not that I don't have any good friends, I just am not the kind of person who enjoys chatting over the phone. I prefer face to face. And I guess I would rather be hanging out with someone rather than sitting at home holding the phone against my ear and switching sides once in a while just so my ears will not get overheated.

I'm not the kind of person who pours out my troubles whenever they come by. I keep things inside and only talk about it when asked or when the topic just happens to come by. It's just what I'd do. Perhaps its evaluation apprehension? I don't want to appear weak. I don't enjoy being the centre of attention when it comes to pity parties. I hate that. So I keep the bad to myself. They will eventually all go away anyway, whether through words, doodling or just mindlessness. They go away.

But of course, I don't mind listening to other's. I've always been a better listener. Not all the time of course, but when things are mellowed, I'm always a better listener.

:) Belle relax. Common test only! Improve can already! English easy one la.

Oh yes, I shall share with you lyrics from Aslan by Kendall Payne. I've been sharing the song with many people but they can't get the lyrics. So shall do you all the favour. :) Read it okay. It is really nice.

Aslan by Kendall Payne
Don't stop your crying on my account
A frightening lion, no doubt
He's not safe, no He's not safe
Are you tempted now to run away?
The King above all Kings is coming down

Chorus:
But He won't say the words you wish that He would
Oh, He don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good

I know you're thirsty, the water is free
But I should warn you, it costs everything
Well, He's not fair, no He's not fair
When He fixes what's beyond repair
And graces everyone that don't deserve

Chorus

No one knows Him whom eyes never seen
No, I don't know Him but He knows me
He knows me, He knows me

Lay down your layers, shed off your skin
But without His incision, you can't enter in
He cuts deep, yeah He cuts deep
When the risk is great and the talk is cheap
But never leaves a wounded one behind

Chorus


I love this song. :)
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I wish those words were for me.
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I am back! Do you know what it feels like to be able to type so freely without care and concern? I bet you do too. But -AHHHHH!- I feel SO relieved! The muscles in my arm just want to sleeeeeeep and turn jelly. You know what that feels like? I love it. :)

Anyway studying has been great. I've found 2 incredible places where I can snack, leech power, sit comfortably and STUDY! :) AMK's new drive-thru Mac in the park and Republic Poly. I know where to head when I need to study next time. Thanks Mingfan for introducing Republic Poly! And to Ronald and Mingfan for being my study buddies too.

Baking with Belley Welley was great too. The brownies came out much much better. I like..... :) And it was fun seeing Belle in her gong gong state (as always) trying to do baking. She is cho loh! The way she stirred the chocolate, woah, like she wants to flood the kitchen with chocolate. Okay I'm exaggerating. But Belle will smile when she sees this. and everyone will laugh at her. HAHA

Anyway, I have got bread in the oven waiting for me and a kitchen to clean up. No time to dwell on and post a proper post on my thoughts though they run through my mind like... Hmm.

Oh yes. Add ons to my wishlist.

#4: Relient K's new album
#5: Kendall Payne's album, Grown (or any other album of hers actually) I've fallen in love with her voice. Her immensely meaningful deep lyrics that just soothes the soul.

Okay BYE!
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I'm so irritated! WHY! Why do people just assume I would want to go out with them? Go for lunch, go watch movies with almost complete strangers?!

It's amazing. I'm irritated but I'm still being nice. Just watch it.

ANYWAY, school is over! Okay, not officially over, there's still the 2 papers to go but the tutorials; lectures; waking up and hour and a half before lessons. All gone for now!

And guess what? I'm baking tomorrow! :) Happy happy happy. I want to slack for the whole day and then start to chiong for the rest of the week. BMR and Socio. Must score high for both to score no lower than B. I know I can! :)

As for post proper, today has been a very different day. For one, I stayed in school longer than I needed to. Had a long ride back to AMK with Cailin and chatted along the way. Found out interesting things and for once I let down my guard a little and was me. I know it sounds stupid, why can't I just me.

I guess it's because I don't just allow anyone in to my little world where I'm me and everyone else is someone dear. I don't like having to be wary of people I consider friends, so I limit that list to people I can trust. Not that I don't trust Cailin, but I'm not closey-close with her. As nice a person she is, there just is that missing thing, which I don't know how to describe.

I'm very glad though, that I got to work with her for almost all the group projects. I discovered that we work in similar ways. Quite similar anyway. And it was nice having someone who has the same standard in the kind of quality work desired in the end product. So yay!

I feel so bad now though. Cos ASHER SLIPPED THAT I HAVE A BLOG! I was staring daggers at you but you didn't take the hint! Now I don't know whether to tell her bout my blog or not. And so weird, how'd I tell her? "Eh Cailin, my blog's ......." AIYOH ASHER!!!!

Haha. I'm typing gibberish. Feeling rather lightheaded from the shopping of ingredients and all the joy from the end of the semester. :)

BROWNIES!
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I've never been one who makes wishlists and dish them out to people prior to my birthday, but I'm going to contradict myself now by doing so because I can.

#1: Sylvia Plath's Bell Jar (actually, any works of Sylvia Plath would do, just as long as it is not some dumb biography written by someone else)
I've been reading her book which I so miraculoously found in the library the other day. I'm sure Ronald thought I was mad when I went hysterical upon the discovery.

#2: Gilmore Girls Season 5. (You could include 6 & 7 too if you want!)
Because I'm missing Lorelai and Rory Gilmore and I want to see what happens with Dean though I know ultimately they will not end up together.

#3: Tay Ping Hui
Yes, laugh Asher, laugh. But I like him. And so many of my friends have seen him in person already. :( (But obviously I'm kidding with this one. Unless anyone has a way to get a life sized Tay Ping Hui poster. It'll do too!)

#4: -pauses to think for a long long while. I guess this is why I never did wishlists.-

oh well.
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I don't know what to blog about anymore. No, I'm just exhausted from all the lip-reading, voice-manipulating required in AudioPro. Was supposed to get started on BMR tonight, but Mr Tai from AT&T called and I earned $45. Now, I don't feel like doing BMR anymore. And I just realised there's SingCam test tomorrow! Shucks.

I have many words in my head. A poem. A short story. But i need peace and quiet for the words to come out. They can't flow with the tension.

Help!
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"You look quite alike"

It is that obvious? I smiled and leaned sideways towards her, bumped heads but it's okay. It's her.

"That's what best friends are for," she declared.
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