Okay, I haven't been blogging the way people want me to, and that's not going to change. But since they want me to blog about certain outings, then I shall.

Dinner with Grace and Co last Wednesday at Ichiban Sushi Suntec. Finally after close to half a year!



Last Saturday was dinner with Mingfan the hamster, Chee Leong the shooter (cos he is forever shooting me, I don't know why), I Yeu the crapper, Alan the caught in the traffic jammer, and KIAN HUI the laughing gaser (he has an innocent face that can make me laugh ANYTIME). It was a very comfortable dinner at Sakura (some Thai/Chinese Cuisine place) which was followed by pool and tau huay. I like! Pity Cai Le was not there. You'd think they'd be nice to me since I'm the rose among the thorns but nooooo! I was like one of them boys. Not a bad thing I must say - then I don't have to be all girly wirly. :) I had a great time guys!



Labour Day was GREAT family bonding time. Apparently my sister does not share the same sentiments, but then she's a toughie to please. We were thinking of places the normal Singaporeans will not flock and daddy suggested Sungei Buloh - the best idea ever. Pay $1 for the entrance fees (which only applies on weekends and public holidays; every other day its free!) and you get to enjoy the holiday walking in nature without having to squeeze with many sweaty people, be up close and personal with Iguanas



and perhaps Otters if you're lucky (I was not). Butterflies and spiders



Flowers and funny shaped leaves



- just a few things you'd appreciate while walking around gazing at thick buttress roots with sub-roots (?) that sprout out from all over the place. It felt good and i had a good time taking pictures - not great ones but I WAS holding the camera an arms length away, tip-toeing and leaning over the boardwalk most of the time so don't be too harsh. :) Lunch at Chomp Pang (?) and walked around Thompson Plaza, dinner was instant noodles at home. What a nice way to spend the day. It really felt like a Saturday and I was dreading work the next day. :x

And today, a wonderful kacang puteh meet-up. :)

I've been reading a book Pastor passed to me, and have been learning like TONNES from it. Lessons that will help me avoid doing things that I will regret in future. It has reassured me that there is nothing wrong with being extra conservative, despite all that the world tells us, and encouraged me to use a black bold marker to draw a clear line between whats acceptable and not instead of dancing precariously around grey areas.

Thank You LORD for a blessed time of fellowship over a great meal of Popeyes. For a group of closely knitted friends that enjoys talking about You Lord and can go on for hours, despite differences in age and gender. Thank You for giving us a chance to help us be edifying and encouraging to each other. Thank You that we are comfortable with sharing matters close to the heart and not prance from one mindless topic to another. Thank You for this chance to be a light shining for You. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for answering my every prayer and helping me grow in You day after day after day.

Lord, help me be mindful of my intentions in all that I do. I don't want to do things for the wrong intentions, but simply because I love You and I want to honour You. Even when I share about You, help it be with the humblest heart and the best intentions.

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for Your Son's holy name
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Wow. How much You've showed me, how much You've stirred in me, how much You've done for me. Just when I think that this is as much as it can go, You show me once again that I'm wrong, that my mind's too puny to even come close to imagining how much more there can be. You take me and break me and mould me Lord. Just as I've asked, You've given.

I realised yesterday that I needed to rationalise things I do - even when I worship God. When I lift up my hands, it should be at appropriate times; when the lyrics mean something that is relevant or significant enough for me to lift up my hands. God got rid of this restriction in me and changed me yesterday. He told me to keep my hands up - even when it is uncomfortable, even when its not logical to - and completely forget about people around me. Thank God I obeyed because He came and touched me so deeply, completely refreshed me and strengthened me and He refueled the burning passion in me.

Thank You Lord. For Your faithfulness. For Your everlasting love. What would I do without you.

All that I am is Yours
All that I have is Yours.
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It's friday again! I love the weekends. LOVE LOVE LOVE the weekends.

Today was a wonderful day at work. I was entrusted with the task of sending a very important letter to a very important person in MDA. At first I thought I was supposed to go post office buy stamp and post it, until my supervisor stared at me blankly. So I happily skipped off to City Hall to send the letter and to waste time a bit here and there. I was just being obedient okay, my supervisor told me: send already don't need to come back so early, want to go shopping also can. Unfortunately, I'm not loaded so I can't shop (though I saw pretty shoes and nice dresses), so to the library I went!

Very slack right? :) But its okayed slacking.

Thank God for giving me a breather!
And for giving me chances to go for press conferences and events.
And for Yizhong cos work is much more fun with him around. I really don't know how I'd survive without him there. And I hope he'll never ever see this cos it'll totally get to his head and he'll never let me forget it. Haha.
Thank God I finally chatted with Ronald again after so long. It's beeeen so long since I last chat with him. Must admit I miss him. And the rest of JARLZ.
Thank You Lord for reminding me to pray before doing anything; to commit everything I do into Your Hands!


LORD help me make full use of my weekends before the work week starts again!


I will stand I'll stand for You
I'll stand, I'll stand, I'll stand for YOU!
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Thank God for the pluses of the job that makes it less undesirable.
Thank God for relatives who don't mind fetching me home from Dempsey Road though it's not very convenient. I'm not pampered, just blessed. Lord, help me to start showing them Your love Lord.
Thank God for anointed servants who produce great songs that inspires and stirs things inside.

I had a chat with Jerald, Asher's friend, online and it was very interesting. He wanted me to introduce myself cos he doesn't really know me - we just hi bye and occasionally chat when we bump into each other. I was expecting questions like "oh whats your hobby", but he surprised me with "what's your purpose in life" and "what do you want people to remember you as when you die", which is totally cool cos there's so much more to talk about.

Since we're at that, what's your answers? Don't just ignore my question okay, go comment!
Mine: to glorify God (purpose in life) and an obedient servant of God (tombstone goal).

How am I glorifying You Lord? How else can I glorify You? How much more? In what ways? Show me Lord.

I know I've said this umpteen times, but I really can't wait to finish poly and go learn more and more and more about God. But even now, I'm learning.

Like wow. You're totally awesome God. The awesomest of awesomes!

Keep us from just singing. Move us into actions.
Fill us up, send us out Lord.
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God is so faithful.

I was feeling really discouraged today. But God told me to look at it from a different point of view. In every situation, He is in control and He has a purpose for it, for us to grow and learn from it.

It isn't easy, I must admit. Because we only see things through our skewed perspectives and everything seems so huge. But through God, we will get through this.

As excited and driven as I may be, Lord teach me to wait and work in Your timing. I have sooooo much more to learn, so many areas to improve and it seems daunting at times but I trust that You will provide Lord. I commit the coming week into Your hands Father!

Have a great week my dears!
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The working week is officially over! Boy am I glad. Though I must say we haven't been doing a lot (compared to school) it is tiring, waking up early everyday, looking for things to do, ideas, inspirations till the day is over. Thank God Yizhong's with me, we get along quite well, considering I've never talked to him before SIP. Haha

I've been seeking and praying that God shows Himself to me even in my workplace, or rather that I'm sensitive to Him even in my workplace. And He did just that on the last day of the week by rewarding me with things that He knew I'd enjoy.

I got to go to Blue moo, at YMCA to watch Budak Pantai, an a cappella group, perform. Very entertaining group, considering their age and gender and that they have full time jobs! They are very funny, their songs are funny - they sang Hey There Delilah in three languages: the original english with really strong brit-ish accents, chinese, and in dialect! And it was really impressive seeing them sing with so much gusto and swaying so freely, dancing to their songs and making comical facial expressions to entertain. Needless to say, their voices were great la. A cappella leh.

And just before the intermission, (because it was on a roof-top) God showed me a shooting start. I considered the Indescribable DVD, considered that a shooting star was a star that's burning out, and thought of how some people wish upon shooting stars, before God stopped me told me to just enjoy the beauty of it.

It was like God said "That's for you my dear child."

I know He has my internship in His hands.
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The weekends are approaching! I look forward. :)

I've been thinking about 2 points of view (the only 2 I've thought of or came across) regarding speaking up for Jesus; you know when a non-believer puts Christianity down and all, should we make our stand or just say nothing. On one hand, if we don't stand for Jesus, it might seem that we do not believe enough, or do not know enough about Him to speak up. And I guess this is the most common perspective, easily found in chain mails that say "forward this to everyone you know if you're not ashamed of Jesus" (or something along that line) or in the heated comments of youtube videos that contain religious content. On the other, some say that if we have to speak up for our God, doesn't it mean that He is less powerful than we think (cos we have to defend Him and stuff).

And I reckon there is a time for both approaches and it very much depends on the situations and what God speaks to you in that situation.

Like I mentioned before, spiritual warfare. But I don't feel mad in anyway like I used to. Instead sadness overwhelms me; how man can speak so confidently with so much conviction against something that they have never experienced. We think we're so smart don't we. Turning around to bite the hand that made us and saved us.

16 You turn things upside down,
as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!
Shall what is formed say to him who formed it,
"He did not make me"?
Can the pot say of the potter,
"He knows nothing"?

Their eyes are blinded. LORD help them see Your beauty. Help me help them see.
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I'm starting to notice certain problems I might face in work.

Spiritual warfare?

I might have to deal with S P I. As in paranormal blah blah. And.... It's not right. To test God. But since I'm not testing Him, I'm sure He'll make a way for me.

Yizhong is really... entertaining. And he says its like only half of his normal.

zzz. Prayers please!!! My nose is like totally stuffed. And I'm leading this Sunday. :x

LORD! Please help me be consciously guided by You.
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Worship on Sunday was really... fulfilling. And it really goes to show that a close walk with God helps us serve better, with or without the best technical skills. It's so easy to lose our focus and pay attention to perfecting our skills and making ourselves sound good and all, but we can end up missing God altogether. Rely on Him and let Him make us sound good.

And He took away every single fear, doubt rather I had for attachment and gave me His incredible peace.

And a colleague we'll be working with closely is a believer too. He has this mug in the studio that said "Help me remember Lord that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I cannot handle together." And it really encouraged me.

But honestly, there's no direction in what we're doing. I spent the day slacking. I really want to learn from this 6 months. I guess God has something planned.

Thank you all for praying for me. Continue okay! :) I'm like close to falling sick. On the brink of getting a sore throat/runny nose/flu. Which is bad if I have to do production work.

Okay! Time to do research.
Remember that God loves loves you!
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No man will stop me from praising.
No ache can keep me from dancing.
No shame will stop me from singing.
Lord, I can't get enough of You.
I never want to stop longing for You.

Lord, you see our hearts, longing to be used by You to bring glory to Your name. Our ways can never be compared to Yours. In our inadequacy Lord, let Your wisdom and power come through.

If You can use anything
Won't You use me
Take me and break me and
Mould me and make me
You died for me
So I'm living for You
I'm living for You!
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Only You, God, can make me want to jump, dance, sing, shout with joy and in praise, and fall to my knees in complete awe and reverence at the same time.

Thank You Lord, for helping me get to the Expo on time even though I missed my stop and got lost in Loyang.
Thank You Lord, for letting me dwell in Your Presence, for the freedom to sing and jump and dance and lift up my hands to You openly.

Let's not keep the songs of our hearts in our hearts. Let words of exultation and praise just flow from our lips and infect others with this overflowing joy God has given us.

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
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It really is amusing how bottomless and needy the human heart is. However much God gives, however much we receive and are blessed by, it will never be enough, how annoying are we!

It's such an inappropriate time to be feeling like this. Cos God has really been blessing me, with loved ones around me, and just time spent with Him; I mean I have all the love I need! But, annoyingly, even as I was walking to the bus stop with Vanessa Carlton on repeat, there was this weight upon my heart all of a sudden, and I asked God: Why does it hurt so bad Lord?! And ridiculously, I just started tearing, while walking along the street on a bright, sunny, lovely day. I've never teared like that before ever in my life, ever.

But, He replied: Your heart's in the wrong place. Put your heart with me. It's hard to guard your own heart, let me guard it for you.

The same issue yet again. Just when I thought I'm holding onto the satisfied-with-being-single-and-unavailable-till-God-says-so-bar, I start slipping. Why? Cos I'm holding on using my own strength.

Which is why laa is playing a very special role in my life right now, she has been contributing to my realisation, by the things she shared with me. Perhaps God is speaking to me, to make a covenant with Him in terms of time/when; which is of course more tangible and workable as compared to values. (Speaking of which, I've been wanting to edit my terms and conditions, but I've forgotten the username and password.)

What I know is, I want to be doing a lot more for God. He has really been so good to me, and I have learnt a lot and I know I should be doing so much more for His Kingdom. But then again, inadequacy comes in. I'm looking forward to Planetshakers' conference tomorrow. Wanna soak in His Presence and just dwell.

To my dearest bestie:
I've just realised today that I have no one else to turn to with things close to the heart. No one to whine to, or discuss things with or learn and grow with. Cos there's no other girls my age (or close to) in my youth group, like you have Shuen and all. Actually there are a few, but just not the same. Haha I sound so loser, but there's really no one I can really talk to about concerns, about worries. Well, there are people, but no one I can share things from a believer's perspective and with certain values already in place. You get what I mean right. :) So I'm glad God's put you in my life, the timing's like perfect. You're a great encouragement, and He's speaking to me through you in so many ways you don't know. :)

God's timing is really perfect. I'm serious. In all my insecurities, as a student, a believer, a leader, a worshipper etc, He really reassures me constantly and has never failed to provide and leave me in awe.

So leave me distractions.

I give my all to You Lord, my heart, my future, my dreams, my desires, my whole life. Teach me to serve You and Your people with all I am and have. Lord it's my desire to do Your will, to live my life as one that reflects You.
I'm forever Yours.
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Presenting to you.... Abriel Ang.



erm, new and improved way of cross dressing. HAHA. He actually folded up his pants la.



Laa's share of my love. It's so much better than my previous batch cos I turned smart and used ziplock bags to pipe, instead of drizzling with a fork. I love the cursive laa with the butterfly one. And i know BFF is so cliche, but who cares? :)



Abriel's share. haha. Botak boy.



Ronald's share. Octopus and a person snorkelling/diving. LOL my art not very good okay.



Joelinna's share. Violin and kayak with paddle.

We went over to the Japanese place Kenneth brought me tinee and belle for dinner. Had a good time chatting with laa. Okay, maybe more of listening to her, but I don't mind cos she's got soooo much to share with me and it's all interesting, edifying, good to know things. :) Our chats have grown to a different level, and that's good! We actually had separate conversations with the guys through most of the dinner. Walked around marks and spencers and I got so tempted. :) Bought cookies. I'm going to buy more cookies from there when I no longer have time to bake. A little ex, but lovely to the very last crumb.

On the bus, we started chatting about houses, walk through wardrobes and living together and all. I guess almost everyone dreams about living with their extended family at least once in their lifetime. Haha, ideal house, ideal family.

I love spending time with them. Pity Zoe wasn't around.

Well, we still went to look for her, which was very convenient for me since they kinda walked me home. LOL And we took pictures. :) Seriously, laaaa's growing prettier and prettier. Love you babe! Zoe's just a mugger. :( Miss you!





Thank God for friends like this. They brighten up my week.

Ohoh! No need for formals for internship! :) Jeans and tees are fine! I'm sure dresses won't be a problem. My msia sprees will come to good use. I still don't know how to put make up though. :x
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Running. Another good thing - no one around to hear me sing along with Vanessa Carlton. Actually, not no one la, I bumped into 2 people while belting out loudly and almost stopped singing, but then it would be so weird to suddenly stop, so I heck and pretended like I have very thick skin. LOL. I seriously love her songs. Esp heroes and thieves. Its fun to sing too! And just when I figure it ou-ou-out. Darling its you, darling it's you, oh darling it's you I'm without.

I baked again! For JARLZ since I'll be meeting them tom. :) But it's quite troublesome since I have to.. carry 4 boxes around town. Ah well.

And I'll be collecting my camera tomorrow! No more lousy handphone pictures.

okay, a rather meaningless post. But i like it.
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Night run again. I was just looking into the sky, looking for stars, but unfortunately no glasses, so couldn't see much. BUT, the colour of the sky was so beautiful. Like a deep deep dark blue, slowly turning a little lighter. The kind of blending that would take hours and hours to perfect. It's so simple for Him.

I think the most beautiful things are just around us. We just have to look. :)
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Yay. Muffins appreciated. :) Zoe texted: Thanks babe! Very nice! With the exclamation marks.

And Jerald asked for seconds. EQ was so super touched!

Hehe. I'm happy. That's what my hard work was for. Making people smile when they say thank you!

.

On a different note, my dream guy came back into my dream. The moment Edward asked about him and I said "he got lost between dreams". o.O how odd right.
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Zoe's share of my love. :) Okay, its not the best looking muffins around, and the frosting will melt, cos it's not icing, BUT it tastes like marshmallow, not some fake fattening on top of ice cream kind of cream. AND, it's filled with love. I'm happy making stuff and giving stuff. And after trying a total of 3 different recipes, I've decided that the last recipe is the best. My father was complaining that I made so many at one go. That's my... habit? I go all crazy over making something, and I do it real often and I make a whole lot. And then it stops. Just like my brownie craze, then my funny bread craze. Now its muffins! I tried making the chocolate oozing out kind but I failed, cos I didn't use the right chocolate (the kind used for baking). Oh well. :)

Bummer of the day: I didn't go for OP night. :(

Ah well, Sunday's coming!

Thank God for the wonderful day of baking and decorating. And for taking my toothache away. :) Incredible? That's my Heavenly Father!

PS: ernspysch! you should so totally get a comment box so we can fill your blog with love. :) CHEER UP!
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i like this picture.



our flats. i like hers! its red. and its dorothy perkins. and its cheap. what a bargain! :)



the disgusting people who do this. taken at like 12 midnight-ish in compass point. expect people to clean up their mess. tsk. uncouth.



AND my new toy! :):):)

Alright, I'm done for the day. :D I shall try making FROSTING tomorrow!
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I baked Muffins. Chocolate chip muffin, double chocolate muffin and dark chocolate muffin. I used the same chocolate throughout though, so its actually just chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate! :)

Still have frostings to experiment with, but I got to wait for my parents to get me a whisking machine.

Anyway, I was just thinking, when will girls/women ever just be satisfied with their weight/figure. My dad was just exclaiming to me how skinny I was, and I was totally shocked. Me skinny? You must be kidding. But of course, his comment made me happy for a little while. HAHA

I'm sure in every girl's life there's a secret subconscious pursuit to achieve that perfect figure, that perfect size, which constantly diminishes with every victory (read: yay 45kg, next goal: 40!). It is very sad, because there's no space for indulging in comfort food without feeling absolutely guilty. Some even go to the extent of the discomfort of sticking things down their throat to puke everything out. But is there really a need to? Obviously not!

I guess its just what watching TV (esp MTV) and movies would tell you. Pretty girls are skinny; pretty girl have flawless skin with beautiful smiles and loads of pretty clothes and shoes. And sometimes we just get sucked into this superficial ideology without knowing and start desiring things that we never did desire before (i.e. branded clothes, big sweet 16 parties, big houses even the perfect boy). I know I was when I was watching the reality show Laguna Beach. Just look at their houses. They have pools and jacuzzis in their backyard for goodness sakes! Its insane really.

Thank God I've stopped watching it. The drive to search Tudou.com for the episodes just disappeared like that, and I know why! I've been immersed in God's presence. These trivial things don't matter anymore.

When you've got the real McCoy, other things become immaterial. YAY!

Postscript: Andrewwwww gogogo! Do your best and let God do the rest. :)
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:) I did something very not Janine today. Was so inspired and driven after watching the videos, that I went to look for the book Operation World. It took me and the lady at the shop a longgg time to find the book. Was quite funny. We looked through all the shelves, when the book was like at the most prominent place ever - on display. I was quite, 'er' when I saw the price though. Cos it's supposed to be like US $10, but they were selling at 30 plus. I thought of going to other shops first to look for it and compare prices (the very aunty Janine thing to do), but then I was very reluctant, since we finally found it! So I asked God, and God scolded me. :(

30 plus is nothing. Nothing compared to the power of praying for the nations, nothing compared to the price God paid. Who am I to be so ji jiao (read: calculative) over money.

So I bought it, using my angpao money. And I'm a happy girl, because this is a step I'm making towards doing my part for missions.

I'm proud of myself, and I know God is too. He's changing me slowly but surely, to be more like Him.
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Got this from a blog.

Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection?

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the graveclothes. The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin. Is it really significant? Yes!

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day.

The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this tradition. When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it. The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished. Now if the master was done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table. The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, “I’m done”.

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because,

The folded napkin meant, “I’m coming back!”


He Is Coming Back!

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