Tell me again, why do I try? Pleasing you, pleasing her, pleasing him. I wonder what I have to do to show you that I am a freaking obedient daughter. I wanna pack my bags and leave. Get away from this jail, break free from these chains. Thats exactly how I feel with you. You just need somebody to boss around. Someone to help you lead a second life, accomplish things you never got to do, yet still do things your way, according to your liking.

Your mood swings. My mood swings with yours. I'm like still attached to you. The invisible umbilical cord that connects emotions and thoughts. Goodness.

Maybe having a real emo nick on MSN wasn't a bad thing after all. Had a few real good chats with people I seldom chat online with. First it was Kenneth, the nice squirrel, who lent me a listening ear. Cracked me up a couple of times too.

Ken:
hahaha
go find a rich bf lar
so much easier
then dun need work summore
i wan money oso actually
juz no time 2 work

KILL ME NOW:
haha!

Ken:
so im findin my rich chio young blind dying gf
yep.
haha at least its easier 4 u lol

KILL ME NOW:
then if she happens to have a brother tell me

Ken
juz need rich
i haf 2 many conditions

Haha. And Abriel too! Was really surprised when he came and chat with me. I didn't even know he was him. And I think this is the first time we chat properly, as real friends, not just friends who are friends cos of other friends.

need sleep:
ohh janine you're quite nice to talk to.
hahahaha.
you know although we hang out quite alot i find i don;t really know you.

KILL ME NOW:
same! haha
its like onli cos of the rest tt we get to hang out kinda thing
right right?

need sleep.
haha yarr yarr!
REWIND
hi i'm abriel, whats your name?

We talked about boys, love and Candice! He was stressed over fresh ideas of places to take her to on Sundays. He's really quite a rare gem. See:

need sleep said:
oh and getting gf's presents isn;t all about brownie points.
i really like to see her smile and laugh.
hahaha.
really really

KILL ME NOW said:
really meh

need sleep said:
really really really

Cos he went to surprise her with a remedy for her throat, but sadly he didn't manage to do it. Cos candice went to school. Anyway, I was telling him it would've scored him good points if he did manage to execute it. And that was his response. So sweet right. Candice is a lucky girl.

When will I find a guy who'd say that about me. Someone who'd not try so hard to impress me, but just wanna genuinely see me happy. I'm not asking for alot am I?

Janine, Janine. Wait long long.
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