Now I see, so clearly. And I am so glad that it was all talk and not action. I'm glad I didn't get in too deep. I'm glad that he was fickle enough to show me that he is not worth it. Had a long chat with Auntie Anna today, and she really helped pull me back and get me into the right frame of mind, the right perspective. Looking back now, of course I'm thinking, stupid girl! What were you thinking? Actually considering giving up your standards for something so temporary? Something that would have lasted maybe a week or two?

But then again, I've learnt. I'm aware now that the devil makes use of this desire for love, especially in girls, to try trip and lead astray. Its so clear, just that I've been making excuses for myself. My QT suffered much, everything was going bad. My life revolved around spending time with someone who was just making use of me. Unknowingly.

Yes sure, I'm mad at him. I'm hurt, I'm offended. Cos my hope for a decent guy just went down the drain again. But well, I'm not blaming him per se. Guys just have this tendency of living in the moment and saying things that they don't mean, don't know they will not mean later. It's alrite! This just rules out the possibility of me being romantically involved in anything for the next year or two. Allows me to focus on studying and pushing my GPA up up up, and serving the Lord with my all.

Janine is a happy girl now. Sure I'm still hurt. I'm still harbouring a lil hope. But I'm smart enough to bear with it for now and be a happier girl later. I know he still does not know what he wants. And I pity him. Poor thing.

I still feel so stupid though. 3 EXes should have been a give-away that he ain't reliable. Nevermind Janine, I forgive you for being silly. Now pick yourself up and be a smarter girl. =D

I love Zoe so much. She's such a sweetie.

KILL ME NOW:
but his stuck on his ex

ur beautifulness is all written in your soul:
O THAT IS SHIT LA
dun let him choose between u and his ex u noe
pls lorh given ur qualities
u wan wind got wind u wan rain got rain u noe

KILL ME NOW:
haha yeah im so over him alr.

ur beautifulness is all written in your soul:
no need to stand ther let him choose
o god. jerks

KILL ME NOW:
haha
zoe
you so brighten up my day

ur beautifulness is all written in your soul:
>.-*winks* always know ur soul is worthy of the best guy ok.

The churchies always make me smile. ALWAYS. I don't know what I would do without them. Every week would kill more than it does already.
Thank you so much! =D Though its just 2 of the many reading this. For now.
I love each and everyone of you more than I can say. Can't guarantee I'll make you smile the way you make me smile. But I'll try. =)

Love is more than the butterflies. I don't want the butterflies anymore.
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