That dread is here again. So distinct, so heavy. Bothering every part of me. Its like eating chocolate. You enjoy eating it, but after it is completely devoured, there's that sickening aftertaste that just makes you wanna eat more chocolate so its the sweet velvety chocolate you taste and not that absence of sweetness.


Yet no matter how prominent this feeling is, no matter how there it is, somehow it always disappears. And thank God it did today. Even though it doesn't mean that I'll suddenly enjoy school, at least there's no fear. Why fear? I think I've been paranoid. The D. Calculation and obsessing over grades, GPA. This is going to stop. I'm trying to take things in my own hands too much. Stressing myself too much. I'll just do my best and let God do the rest. Will striving for straight A's get me where God wants me? It might, but will not if it becomes a distraction.

I absolutely enjoyed this holiday ALOT. Had tremendous fun with my loves. Blading/cycling, homework retreat, the sleepovers, Re-Ignite. And the short catching up session with JARLS and Azrael. Dont know if I'm exaggerating, but it feels like the most fun holidays I've had in a long time.

The next one's gonna be better! :)
|