There seems to be a lot of talk on my (non existent) love life recently. I realise... my friends are worrying for me! This is hilarious actually. Because, it isn't something that's been on my mind at all. But I guess it is exactly that that is raising eyebrows. Ronald told me the other day (okay quite some time back now) that our dear zoe is worrying for me, that I won't get a guy cos every guy's scared of me. Hmm. And then a week or so later, Grace tells me that the 4 of them were discussing the exact same issue, wondering why I take such a different stand. Why don't I wanna get attached. WHY?!? Zoe, don't worry I'm not becoming a nun. And turning lesbo is totally out of the question.

I guess cos I'm old-fashioned? I don't wanna get into relationships to experience and see how things turn out, simply because I believe my husband will like to know that he's only the second guy I've ever dated in my life. I remember dreaming once that I agreed to be this random guy's girlfriend just for the fun of it and I totally regretted it and I woke up feeling so disgusted with myself. I'll only go into a relationship if I know it's heading towards marraige, which really should be the end in mind for every relationship right? If not, aren't you using someone else for self-discovery and self-gratification? Sense of security, feeling loved. That's what we get into relationships for. That's what I myself looked for in the past. Thank God I've changed.

So if I don't date a person, how will I know if I wanna marry him? It's not as if I know what my husband's gonna look like or something right? Well. It should all start off from a friendship level. I know it's disastrous when people go into relationships without first establishing a friendship. I know. So friendship first, if all goes well (read: terms and conditions + green light from God) then we'll talk.

Most importantly for me, since I'm such a weirdo and I don't think many people think like me anymore, it comes down to the person's stand in relationships. I won't date a guy who just dates anyone.

So. Don't worry about me. Really. Worse comes to worse, I don't find Mr Right. I don't get married. I focus on serving God all my life. What's wrong with that? :) I'm not worried!


On a different note, God is faithful! I've been unsure about how to handle a certain issue, asked some people, asked God how to approach and deal with it the right way, His way, and He just showed me. A totally different way from all the options I thought were available! Thank You God!


I've finished reading "The Heavenly Man" that Auntie Meileng lent me. It has inspired and woke me up to certain things. And it is amazing how God worked through Brother Yun's life. The most important lesson I've learnt is this: I am absolutely nothing. I have nothing to be proud about. I have no abilities and nothing to offer God. The fact that He chooses to use me is only due to His grace. It has nothing to do with me. If God should choose to raise up others for His purpose and never use me again, I would have nothing to complain about.

I've definitely learnt a lot from his book, his testimonies. Just from reading, I could feel his servant heart loving and living for the Lord. I'll share more with you guys in time to come! :)
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All of my life, in every season
You are still GOD
I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship!

I thank You for bringing my sweet lil Maddie Love back into my life.
Thank You for Your LOVEEE <3<3


Use me use me use me use me use me use me use me LORD! In all my imperfections, use me use me use me use me use me! Because only You can. :)

Isn't He lovely?

I apologize for the lack of posts. But I have 2 blisters on my thumb. And. Cathy and Randolph got a new video up! So wheee!

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I thank God for stopping me from being rash, not allowing my emotions to dictate my actions.
And for my weekends! :)



I'm Not Who I Was
Brandon Heath

Enjoy! :)
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Temporary banner till I get down to designing one. :]



Cathy Nguyen is so likable! Haha. This song is a little emo though.

Mannn! A fly just drowned in my water. zzzz

You know what? I'm going to stop using 'minor' swear words like shit and damn. Even wahlau. Do you know that the common American don't use those words. Okay, damn maybe, but shit is a big nono. The media has been deceiving you! As for wahlau, I just realised I don't know what it means so I guess I should stop using it. Whatever it means. :s

Eww. The fly didn't drown! It's like bathing or something, flying out of the water and jumping back in again. Weird.

Anyway, yes! No more swear words. :] My lips are for praising God.

Bit by bit, I'll change for the better.

(Here's where accountability comes in. You must scold me if you hear me whispering those words okay.)
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Yes yes, no updates for so long!!! I know right?! But I'm back now!

Was away for the weekends to attend my lovely cousin's wedding. Minmin jiejie is now wife of Mr Binh Ngoh :) Binthany. So sweeet! I thought he was some super mature chap from the pictures they showed us online. He's actually quite cute. It's so amusing watching him, exasperated and all when he was going through the crazy games to "open the door" and fetch his bride.

I'm so proud of my cousin. Cousins. They're all over the world! But this means that I don't get to see them very often at all. :( I haven't seen my 3 guy cousins in Canada for as long as I can remember!

Well, I'm really glad they had a wedding in Penang as well as in Canada and Brunei. Cos it got a lot of people back together after so long. Like Ah Seang koko! Finally willing to come back from UK. And Shyanshyan koko. So gentleman and all. AND they're all back with accents!

Okay, picture time! (I felt a little free today, like finally. So played around with photoshop. I wanna get a pen thingy! I'm relying on just my trusty trackpad now.)


We were taking photo after photo after the wedding dinner. whooooosh! :D


My handsome cousins. Right right! :D


The gurliesssss :)


They work in my ah yi's salon, so unfortunately, stooooood the whole day doing our hair, like us plus our aunties uncles and all.


This boy ah. Had to literally tear him away from his PS2 controller! I still love him :D Just that he's not as eager to receive hugs anymore :(

And then I got a bit lazy.. Facebook for more pictures!

Though it was very much enjoyed, it was just a huge reminder that my cousins are not saved. All the rituals minmin jiejie had to go through was - I guess - to bless the marriage, hoping it'll last long. I wonder if she believes it works. I'm sure part of it is upbringing. All of my cousins are buddhist due to obedience. Like its a given. I used to think that too.

Well, I'm ashamed to say that I haven't done much to reach out to them. But I am praying!
I really love them. But I trust that God loves them more and He has a plan already! :)

Unfortunately, I had to miss services on Sunday to attend wedding. Even more unfortunately, I've to work this coming weekends. Yeah sure, my "salvation is not at stake" but I miss church. I know God's always with me, but there's something different with services and corporate worship. My Sundays are like my petrol kiosks. God refills me for the week. Ah well. I miss you guys!

LORD, be my strength!
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