I've been waiting for this day for the longest time ever. Never got to go through with my plan until now. Donned my shades on my way out and felt cool. Not the look-at-me cool, but the invisible-cool. I decided that today, I shall be lost in the crowds. I shall enjoy my time alone and watch a movie alone without caring about what the box office people think. I've wanted to watch a movie alone since Pastor Heidi recommended it to us but never dared to cos... it's uncool to buy just one ticket. But I finally did. And it was my first M18/Cinema Europa movie. Princess of Nebraska. I bought a konos super combo for myself and for the first time decided to mix salted and sweet. Don't know why but I felt like eating a little sweet stuff and requested more salted than sweet. But I regretted after a while because the sweet was not satisfying. Tried the Beef Pepperoni Kronos Pizza. Is that what it's called? I can't remember. The movie wasn't very good. Wishy washy storyline, weird mandarin-english alternation (is that the word for it?), and the lead actress was not pretty.

Walked around the rooftop and soaked up the sun before it got too hot and I started sweating. Went to the 2nd level children's playground and stood there for a good half an hour, watching the children play. This one 2yo (im guessing) boy walked towards the playground, looked around and shrieked with pure delight. It felt so good to just stand still and watch the kids play. The best thing was that no one noticed I was there.

Wondered whether I should watch a second movie or read. Weather conditions and realising that I still had movie money from last Christmas led to Nights In Rodanthe. Different experience because now there were more people in the cinema. Not that I felt intimidated. The inn by the beach was beautiful. Made me wanna go for a holiday. I loved the charm curtain thing. People were weeping during the movie, and I felt ashamed for them. Can you get any lamer? I realised I felt very comfortable watching the movie alone. No one sitting beside me to bother about. And I thought, I'd only go into a relationship if I were completely comfortable with the person. If not, I might as well be alone and comfortable right?

I went into pageone just to spend more time alone. Browsed through some books, wanted to buy a book for myself. Kite Runner? For One More Day? Cecelia Ahern? The Memory Keeper's Daughter? I decided to get The Shack instead. Walked around pageone some more and realised that it is way bigger than it looks from the outside. Went to literature section, and wondered what made a book fiction or 'literature'. Considered getting The Alchemist but decided that it was too popular a book for me to buy. Saw Haruki Murakami's books and I can't remember where I'd heard about this author before. Read the first chapter and I was captivated. The whole chapter was about an elevator and it was interesting. If she could do that the book must be good. So I contemplated. I realised that 'she' (haruki sounds like a she) was actually a he. No author has caught my attention like that since Neil Gaiman. Not that I like Neil Gaiman because as well as he writes, he's vulgar. Not in the language, but the things he writes about and the way he does it. Haruki Murakami could be just as vulgar. I don't know, but I sure didn't want to spend my money on a book that I didn't know I could enjoy without being corrupted. So very sadly I put down the book and walked away. I decided then that my dream home would have wooden flooring or parquet as they call it. Like pageone! I love the creaks the wood make in certain areas and getting to know my floor becomes an activity altogther. Finding and knowing the spots that creak, knowing where to tiptop over when its late at night and I don't want to wake anyone up. Tiles? How can you know tiles, especially homogenous tiles. Tiles are cold.

After a long time in pageone, I walked out and headed home. There was something therapeutic about my journey back to hougang. I just thought and was engulfed by my thoughts. I kept my eyes shut in the train, though I was not asleep, and felt so far away from the other commuters. It felt good. I decided to buy plastic to wrap my new book and all my other new books. I never liked wrapping books because I could never get it right and I'd get upset and angry at myself over it. But I decided that I would be a mother who wraps her children's books. If I'm gonna be a mother. So I need practice. Bought magic tape too because it felt magical.

I realise that memories can be forgotten or put aside eventually. Of course they can. The same route, no longer the same memories. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. Very happy that the past no longer mocks me.

I spent quite a bit today, yet I don't feel the pinch. It's money well spent. And I won't be spending much in school anyway.

I loved spending the day alone. I feel so at ease and am now ready to take on the last semester.

Thank You for letting my enjoy this day :)
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