There's danger in melancholy, in sadness. It's like quicksand. You want to get out, but then again, why not just stay here a little longer, too much effort is needed.

Sara Bareilles' Gravity has been on repeat. Something's wrong with this song. Set me free, leave me be; I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Truth is, she really wants to fall over and over again.

I think this song can be used to described sadness, or even depression. Who really wants to stop feeling sad when you're sad? There's something safe about sadness. It comes alongside you and takes your hand. Makes you comfortable in it, creates a warm cosy cushion of sadness around you.

I don't know how to deal with sad stuff. I sleep it off. I reduce it and downplay it to the very minimum, to the point that sometimes I wonder if there was reason at all for me to be sad in the first place, maybe I was just being melodramatic.

Am I feeling better? Yes definitely. But am I really feeling better about it? I don't know. It's been buried. I guess I'd only know if its dug up again. And I probably have to do it soon ish to settle it once and for all.

Maybe I'm really just tired. I've been hearing "Are you tired? You look really tired/horrible/zonked," so much it's not even funny any more. I have no choice, do I? Stop rubbing it in my face please.

Mehhhhhh. I'm no supergirl, no tireless worker. I hate many of the adjectives that people use to describe me. I'm strong, I'm independent, yes yes they probably have reasons to say that. At times that's nice and good. But there are always times I really just want to curl up and cry buckets. At times I really just need somebody. Though I'm not sure I know how to fulfill that need; need someone. My needs always remain needs till they disappear into the horizon. Which is why prior to discovering Gravity, I was hooked on Use Somebody - Pixie Lott's cover. But that is another story for another day.

So, please treat me with tender loving care. <3 I would appreciate that thank you very much!

*exhales*

*BIG GRIN*

K! Bring it on world. Janine always gets better, in time. She just hates the (self-imposed) expectation to get better better quickly.

Eeeees, we need to talk. I need to talk. Please force it out of me. You know I'd wriggle my way out of it if I could.

Lord, help. This is hard. I'm like, confused. :) Silly right? I know. Thank You for being so patient with me. ILY!

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